New Study Finds That No Amount Of Alcohol Use Is Safe, And I Choose To Respectfully Disagree

I’ve always subscribed to the mantra: Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to. Which is exactly why I’ve never asked myself the question, ‘Is all this drinking I’m doing detrimental to my health?’ The answer, I suspect, is multi-dimensional. Alcohol is probably not good for my long term health but right here, right now at this dimly lit Elks Club….pour me another shot bitches it’s FRIDAY!

But as part of my job, I must bring you the news that I was saddened to hear today.

According to a study published in the Lancet medical journal, there is no safe level of alcohol use. Sipping Jesus’ blood at a Catholic mass: bad. Having a cold one after a long week: bad. Binge drinking on a Tuesday morning and telling your boss you have a doctor’s appointment: bad.

Via Bloomberg:

Drinking alcoholic beverages is linked to some 2.8 million deaths each year, according to researchers who concluded that there is no safe level of alcohol use.

The chemical in beer, wine and hard liquor is associated with nearly one in 10 deaths in people ages 15 to 49 around the world, making it the leading risk factor for people in that age range, according to an analysis of earlier studies, published in the Lancet medical journal.

University of Washington’s Max Griswold, the author of the study, wrongfully claims that the combined health risks associated with alcohol outweigh any possible benefits.

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Although the study found that alcohol offered some protection against coronary-artery disease in women, “the strong association between alcohol consumption and the risk of cancer, injuries and infectious diseases” offset that.

The study found that the main causes of alcohol-related deaths for people ages 15-49 were tuberculosis, road injuries and self-harm and for people aged 50 or older, cancer was the leading alcohol-related death.

Said another author, Robyn Burton of King’s College London:

“The conclusions of the study are clear and unambiguous: alcohol is a colossal global health issue. The solutions are straightforward: Increasing taxation creates income for hard-pressed health ministries, and reducing the exposure of children to alcohol marketing has no downsides.”

Is there any studies done on deaths related to sober-induced sadness? Yeah, didn’t think so “PROFESSOR.”

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[h/t Bloomberg]