New Yorkers Are Snitching On Each Other Left And Right But NYPD Ain’t Got Time

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14,000 complaints? Honestly seems a little low. What the hell else are people doing these days? We need to start issuing more telescopes and binoculars to 75-80-year-olds living on the Upper East Side because clearly they’re underequipped and underfunded for their essential duties. Those are our frontline warriors. They post up in their little window perches with a cup of tea and a super old dog and keep the neighborhood safe from 12 floors up, one 311 call at a time.

Can we get a breakdown by borough?

Brooklyn leading the snitch charge. No surprise there. Sure, it’s the most populated borough, but it’s also the place to live if you believe in enacting citizen justice from the safety of your planted roof terrace. Twitter is calling it the Karen of boroughs, and that’s more than fair.

Tough time to be a Karen.

Thankfully, the NYPD isn’t giving these snitches the time of day. That has to be frustrating. Imagine how many people are asking to speak to a supervisor on these 311 complaint calls? Good lord.

Thank you for your service, dear snitches.

Night gathers, and now my watch begins… 

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