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It’s been just one week since Papa John’s estranged founder John Schnatter gave an interview in which he was sweating like a group of nuns at a cucumber farm and effectively voiced a cry for help in which he admitted to eating 40 Papa John’s pizzas in 30 days to convince himself the pizza under the new regime is trash.
PSA: Has anyone checked on John lately?
CEO Rob Lynch responded to Schnatter’s accususations in a CNBC interview published Wednesday, saying “nothing [about the pizza] has changed.”
Schnatter’s denouncement of the new pizza evidently didn’t have the crippling effect he hoped it would, so it appears that the disgraced pizza man dusted off his old Papa John’s South Korea contact and had the franchise create the most inedible circle of slop since Jim boned that american pie in preparation for Nadia. (This is all speculation, but I’m just following the breadcrumbs here).
Ladies and gentlemen and hungry death row inmates, I present to you Papa John’s new “American Hot Dog Pizza.”
https://www.instagram.com/p/B5RPPvrHcyn/?utm_source=ig_embed
According to chewboom.com, the monstrosity consists of the following ingredients. Keep in mind this is the picture that South Koreans have in their mind when they think of our fat asses.
- 8 entire hot dogs
- chili cheese sauce
- mozzarella
- cheddar potato mousseline
- onions
- dijon mustard sauce
- pickle relish
- parsley
- a vomit bag
I wouldn’t eat this with the mouth of my ex’s new boyfriend. I wouldn’t even eat this after ripping a gravity bong at sunset of Ramadan.
This begs this question: Do we invade South Korea?
[h/t New York Post]