Disney
I’ve written about how awful Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is so many damn times on this website that I’m beginning to feel like Jack Torrance in The Shining just smashing away at my typewriter, repeating the same psychotic babel over and over again. Plus, considering I’m literally cooped up in the crib Overlook Hotel style, I can relate to Jacky Boy now more than ever. All Palpatine and no previous explanation or hints make Eric a dull boy.
Luckily, though, in my time of borderline delusions, Honest Trailers came through with exactly what I needed: a proper ethering of The Rise of Skywalker that’s far funnier than any bullshit that I could scribble down.
Anyway, hereeeeee’s Palpy!
All that said, I mean — considering we’re gonna be inside for another month or so — I wouldn’t say it’s not, at least, worth watching once. I’ve already seen it and I may watch it again, fuck it. There are no more rules! Been wearing sweatpants for two weeks now. I had penne-vodka for fucking breakfast this morning. My two roommates already literally already drinking. I watched Ben Affleck starring as Ben Affleck in Ben Affleck last night, pretty damn good! I’ll tell you what, there are tons of awful consequences as a result of our current situation, but one of the small victories has been its impact on the entertainment industry and the way that movies are released.
See, you just read a paragraph of vaguely incoherent nonsense despite the fact that I already told you I’m feeling as mad as Jack Torrance. Maybe you’ve always been the caretaker, too, sir.
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Eric is a New York City-based writer who still isn’t quite sure how he’s allowed to have this much fun for a living and will tell anyone who listens that Gotham City is canonically in New Jersey. Follow him on Twitter @eric_ital for movie and soccer takes or contact him eric@brobible.com