I never thought that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson would ever be able to come even close to the awesomeness that was his now infamous “fanny pack” throwback photo.
You remember the photo… fanny pack, big chain, turtleneck, Kleenex under the elbow…
Yeah, that one. The one he later recreated with the caption…
When I took this iconic absurdity of a picture in 1996 I was one year removed from sleeping on a used mattress I took from a garbage dumpster in the back of an hourly sex motel. Couldn’t afford to buy a bed so we do what we gotta do to get by. You can imagine all the fun colorful bodily fluids I tried my best to clean off.
21 years later I’m taking the same photo backstage hosting #SaturdayNightLive for the fifth time. If you’re going thru your own tough times “used mattress” stage, do your best to have faith things’ll get better and always be willing to outwork your competition because you never know where life is gonna take you.
And ALWAYS remember to place a soft tissue under your left elbow as to protect the fabric of the cheap ass swag turtleneck that had you out here looking like a bad ass buff lesbian.
Oh and tuck the thumb in the fanny pack. Always tuck the thumb.
Welp, The Rock just shared yet another brutal throwback photo from his youth where he’s sporting one very terrible mustache and of course, the caption was once again pure comedy gold.
Are you ready for this?
Hint: You are not ready.
Found this gem.
Check out 22yrs old and 280lbs of Smirky Beefy McBeef here posing for our Miami Hurricanes media day.
Fun fact: in college, my goal was to eventually work for the CIA. Until my criminal justice professor and advisor (Dr. Paul Cromwell) convinced me that the best operative I could become for the agency is one that also had a law degree.
I thought that’s a great idea until I realized no respectable law school would ever let me in with my pile of steaming shit grades.
End of story.
#ByeByeCIA #HelloHollywood #AndBadAssFannyPacks
Naturally, comments from the internet ranged from “you look like a pornstar from the 70s” to “sweet stache bro!”