Jerritt Clark/Getty Images for Remy Martin
If you’re selling monogamy, Tristan Thompson ain’t buyin.
The Cavs forward would evidently stick his member in a Macy’s mannequin if it was wearing the right jeans and under the age of 24. Doesn’t even need a head, just needs to give it. Important distinction.
Thompson’s most shameful–almost impressively shameful–cheat yet occurred this past weekend when he hooked up with Kylie Jenner’s 21-year-old best friend, Jordyn Woods.
Reports indicate that Khloe is beside herself and livid at Tristan.
Tristan, on the other hand, could give two shits mistresses.
“Tristan isn’t too worried about not seeing True, or Khloé establishing new rules when it comes to coparenting,” a source tells Us Weekly exclusively. “He honestly doesn’t really care and was over it. He was never trying to win Khloé back.”
OF COURSE HE DOESN’T CARE. AND HE SHOULDN’T. Here’s why.
1.) Season 1,382 of Keeping Up With The Kardashian’s begins in just weeks and Tristan’s infidelity will undoubtedly produce better content than the girls around the table wondering which homeless guy they should spit on. Nothing captures America’s hearts like a broken-hearted lover. Khloe is SALIVATING over playing the victim and have the spotlight shone on her instead of Kim or Kendall or Kylie or Kourtney or the family dog. Khloe should be sending Tristan an Edible Arrangements as a gesture of gratitude.
2.) You know that phrase: “Don’t swim in the shark pit if you don’t want to be ripped from limb to limb?” Me either. I think I just made that up. Point is, if Khloe really wanted a monogamous relationship, she wouldn’t date a dude whose on the road half the year and who looks like the tall, black Justin Bieber.
No chance I’m letting my girlfriend within 500 yards of this guy.
Until Khloe walks the walk and starts getting serious about fidelity by dating a balding accountant with and overbite, gout, and zero other options, I can’t muster up sympathy for her.
Hot famous guys are only as faithful as their options. I don’t make the rules.
3.) Relationships end all the time. It’s no big deal. It’s not like Tristan is the father of Khloe’s child or anything.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BqgosSqnBuF/
Gulp.