This 18-Wheeler Spilling Hundreds Of Pizzas On The Freeway Is The Saddest Thing You’ll See Today

Arkansas Department of Transportation

Keep the stoners in Little Rock, Arkansas in your prayers today, as an 18-wheeler was barreling down Interstate 30 when it ran into a bridge support, spilling hundreds of DiGiorno and Tombstone frozen pizzas on the freeway below.

According to the AP, Arkansas highway officials shut down westbound lanes of a cross-country interstate for four hours so crews could help wrangle the pizza casualties.

Feast your eyes on a sad, sad, sight.

Agency spokesman Danny Straessle said the bridge suffered only cosmetic damage. He says “there were some people shaken up” but that no one was hurt.

“But there’s a lot of frozen pizzas laying out on the interstate right now,” Danny Straessle said. “Lots of pizza fatalities.”

Not sure what I’d prefer: an 18-wheeler spill of dodgy cats or a tragedy of delicious frozen pizzas. One just shits in a box and pretends I don’t exist while the other lets me forget my problems after a bong rip. I think I’ve made my decision.

I guess one thing’s for sure: DiGiorno is going to have to change its slogan: It’s not delivery, it’s DiGiorno causing a traffic jam on the freeway.

[h/t  AP]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.