Quick Update On The State Of The Internet: YouTube Star Denies Rumors He Started About Having Sex With His Cat

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Everyone lies. Some personal lies include inflating my job experience on my resume, pretending I don’t watch The Bachelor in mixed company, and telling my girlfriend there were absolutely positively no strippers at Travis’ bachelor party. What do all of these fibs have in common? They were all conjured up to reach a favorable outcome that would otherwise be compromised by telling the truth. These are rational lies.

Some, like YouTube star (I guess) Shane Dawson, tell lies in which the benefit is completely undecipherable.

Real life example: Dawson, who has 7.5 million Twitter followers (I am completely out of the loop), took to Twitter yesterday to defend himself over lies he told about fucking his cat and cumming on its fur.

Yes, this is a man of vast influence, declaring himself a Non-Cat-Fucker. How brave. How noble.

The diatribe came in the wake of audio leaking from 2015 in which the 30-year-old YouTuber claimed to have had his “first sexual experience” at 19 when he “came all over” his cat.

This isn’t the only time the dude has landed in hot water. Dawson has been criticized for his racial comedy, particularly his use of blackface in numerous old skits, and his perceived lack of remorse for them. Dawson also caught heat for calling Travis Barker’s daughter, who was 6 years old at the time, “sexy.”

In any event, I need to laugh so I don’t puke.

Ok puke time!

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.