John Lamparski/WireImage
Everyone lies. Some personal lies include inflating my job experience on my resume, pretending I don’t watch The Bachelor in mixed company, and telling my girlfriend there were absolutely positively no strippers at Travis’ bachelor party. What do all of these fibs have in common? They were all conjured up to reach a favorable outcome that would otherwise be compromised by telling the truth. These are rational lies.
Some, like YouTube star (I guess) Shane Dawson, tell lies in which the benefit is completely undecipherable.
Real life example: Dawson, who has 7.5 million Twitter followers (I am completely out of the loop), took to Twitter yesterday to defend himself over lies he told about fucking his cat and cumming on its fur.
Yes, this is a man of vast influence, declaring himself a Non-Cat-Fucker. How brave. How noble.
The diatribe came in the wake of audio leaking from 2015 in which the 30-year-old YouTuber claimed to have had his “first sexual experience” at 19 when he “came all over” his cat.
https://twitter.com/shanedawson/status/1107464566332489728
ive apologized many times for all the dumb shit ive said in videos and podcasts over the years. ive learned my lesson over and over again and im more confident now in my ability to be entertaining by just being myself and not being so shocking for laughs.(2/?)
— Shane Dawson (@shanedawson) March 18, 2019
that story was fake and was based on a dumb awful sketch idea I had years ago that i never made (THANK GOD) and when the opportunity came up for a funny moment in the podcast I told it as if it was a real story which was DISGUSTING and VERY VERY DUMB (3/?)
— Shane Dawson (@shanedawson) March 18, 2019
my goal with the podcast and with my videos years ago was to tell shocking stories that would make people laugh and scream "OMG NO U DIDNT!!" and think i was "soooo crazy". its embarrassing and i fucking hate myself for it. (4/?)
— Shane Dawson (@shanedawson) March 18, 2019
now that im making stuff i love and im being myself it feels so much better and i finally feel like im putting stuff out into the world that means something. im not saying i hate everything ive made over the years (5/?)
— Shane Dawson (@shanedawson) March 18, 2019
theres so many things im so proud of. but all of my offensive jokes, over the top stories, and insensitive jokes are something that still haunt me and something I have to be faced with everyday on the internet. and it never gets easier. (6/?)
— Shane Dawson (@shanedawson) March 18, 2019
so im sorry for what i said about my cat, im sorry for what i said about anything or anyone that was offensive, and im sorry for being someone who thought being super offensive and shocking all the time was funny. im sorry for my past. but im really to make it right and (7/?)
— Shane Dawson (@shanedawson) March 18, 2019
i feel like without my past i wouldnt be who I am today and i wouldnt be able to grow & spend my energy on things that actually mean something. this has been the best 2 years of my life & its because ive been able to drop the act & be myself. and im sorry for not doing it sooner
— Shane Dawson (@shanedawson) March 18, 2019
This isn’t the only time the dude has landed in hot water. Dawson has been criticized for his racial comedy, particularly his use of blackface in numerous old skits, and his perceived lack of remorse for them. Dawson also caught heat for calling Travis Barker’s daughter, who was 6 years old at the time, “sexy.”
In any event, I need to laugh so I don’t puke.
https://twitter.com/JRAMTHAGOAT24/status/1107647049867149317
https://twitter.com/thenomwheel/status/1107488132080041984
[Shane Dawson, loudly in restaurant] "WHOSE CAT DO I GOTTA FUCK TO GET SOME SERVICE AROUND HERE???"
— Fred Delicious 🍆 (@Fred_Delicious) March 18, 2019
no one:
JK Rowling: Shane Dawson fucked a cat
— Luke Cutforth (@LukeCutforth) March 18, 2019
When Shane Dawson approached his cat. pic.twitter.com/EjoKSsGov7
— Nintendo Out of Context (@NinTextual) March 18, 2019
Shane Dawson: come here kitty
Shane Dawson’s cat: pic.twitter.com/j4Fo6R9tvQ
— bobby wasabi (@bobbyteriyaki) March 18, 2019
https://twitter.com/DumbTop/status/1107487296796925953
https://twitter.com/euphtuft/status/1107469262271275008
Ok puke time!