You’ve Heard Of Cocaine Bear, But Now You Need To Get Ready For Meth Gator

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Unless you’ve been living under a rock, or hibernating (ZING!), you’ve probably heard of the new movie Cocaine Bear.

The premise is pretty simple.

A bear takes cocaine.

And because humans are simple creatures with simple needs, such as watching a movie about a bear on cocaine, the movie has gotten quite the buzz.

While Cocaine Bear is (very) loosely based on a true story, it is dramatized a good bit. Basically, the coked up bear goes on an absolute rampage, destroying anything and everything in site.

As it turns out, that’s not likely to happen if a bear decides to trade snow for snow during the winter. Sadly, the bear would likely overdose and die as would a human that took too much of the narcotic.

But what if throw some variables in there?

What if, hear me out for a second, we turned the bear into an alligator and the cocaine in meth?

Film Studio Announces ‘Attack Of The Meth Gator’ Movie

That’s exactly the question that crept into the minds of the fine folks over at The Asylum film studio.

The studio, which also produced the legendary Sharknado films, announced plans for “Attack of the Meth Gator” coming this summer.

It also confirmed that the movie is not a joke.

Now, I don’t know about you. But to me, gators are infinitely scarier than bears even sans drugs. Sure, bears are on land and much more capable of chasing you.

But they’re also sort of neat and occasionally pretty friendly looking.

Gators are just leftover dinosaurs and I’ve never understood why we still keep them around. Take, for instance, the 85-year-old woman recently killed by a gator while trying to save her dog, who was also attacked.

They’re nothing more than a bunch of wannabe dino killing machines.

And now they’re on meth. Who asked for this anyway?