We recently brought you the news that Ed Sheeran is dating former Pussy Cat Dolls lead singer and certified 10 Nicole Scherzinger.
While recognizing Sheeran’s seemingly endless talent and likability, it’s glaringly obvious that physically she is out of his league. I love it, though, and think that the relationship is a beacon of hope for us average Joes. Now all we need to do is learn how to sing and sell out stadiums all over the world.
But the pitfalls of dating someone that hot is becoming overconfident. I know if I was dating someone as sizzling as Scherzinger, I would tie my dick around my leg. Sure, it’s only 5 inches at its peak, but perception trumps reality.
My advice for Ed would be not to rock the boat. Keep your voice beautiful and keep that down-to-earth, unaffected way about you. Overconfidence is the most dangerous form of carelessness and that’s the kind of shit that can breed a situation where a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend after you catch the early flight home from playing a show in San Diego.
Carelessness is getting a giant COLORED lion tattoo smack dab in the middle of your pasty chest. Some of my co-workers think its homage to Cecil the Lion, because we’re all desperately trying to find the motive.
“Do you like it babe???”