Who Were The Chillest Bros On Sunday’s ‘Game Of Thrones?’
You know what is and isn’t chill, often at the same time?
That’s right. Father-son relationships. Difficult, fun, demanding, inspiring, maddening, antagonizing; it’s all the emotions, all the time.
Our favorite unchill show, Game of Thrones, gave us a healthy dose of wack daddy dynamics in Episode Six: Blood Of My Blood.
Name kinda makes sense now that you think about it.
First up, the unchill dads and sons.
Hating on your son for being into book learning is one of the most retrograde parenting views a person can have.
Chill Bro Points: -5,000
Yes, Sam, the sword does belong to you. But think about how much better it would feel if you earned it from your father, instead of stealing it from him.
Sometimes, the hard road is the right road.
Chill Bro Points: -1,000
King Tommen Baratheon
You know, you could have just told your dad you were planning this spectacle, and spared him this indignity of being shown up in front of his own army.
Chill Bro Points: -500
And you, you know, you could have let your son solved his problems on his own.
Chill Bro Points: -250.
Fucking families, yo. Never chill. Now onto the chill Bros.
5. The High Sparrow
He just played like seven of the most powerful people in town, all at once.
Chill Bro Points: 250
4. The Dothraki
“I want all of you to pledge your loyalty to me.”
“For a supremely pointless cause.”
“No, like really, all you idiots are going to die.”
“For my own gains and nothing more.”
“Like, 100 percent of you. Gone. Dead.”
Chill Bro Points: 400
3. Arya Stark
Look, I’ve been giving her a lot of shit for being a shit dick at the Secret School for Magic Assassins, but there’s something to be said for knowing when to call it quits.
Chill Bro Points: 500
2. The Waif
There’s nothing more chill than hunting the ultimate game, which is man.
Chill Bro Points: 1,000
He’s been working on his roar.
Chill Bro Points: 20,000
Do you disagree? Come at me in comments.
Now, for the standings after six episodes:
41. The Children of the Forest: -10,000
40. Daenerys Targaryen: -9,000
39. Randall Tarly: – 5,000
38. Jamie Lannister: -2,350
T-36. The Original Three Eyed Raven: -1,000
T-36. Bran Stark: -1,000
35. Samwell Tarly: -1,000
34. Yara Greyjoy: -750
T-30. Lord Varys: -500
T-30. Euron Greyjoy -500
T-30. Melisandre -500
T-30. Loras Tyrell: -500
29. King Tommen Baratheon: -500
28. Ser Davos Seaworth: -250
27. Those Two Idiot Dothraki Bros: : -200
26. Jorah Mormont: -100
T-24. Tyrion Lannister: -50
T-24. The Bernie Sanders Mother Fucker From Episode One: -50
23. Daario Naharis and Jorah Mormont’s Horses: 50
T-21. Cersei Lannister: 100
T-21. The High Sparrow: 100
20. Roose Bolton: 200
T-17. Wun Wer Wun Dar Wun: 250
T-17. Olenna Tyrell: 250
T-17. Brienne of Tarth: 250
16 Sansa Stark: 300
15. Ser Robert Strong: 350
T-12: The Dothraki: 400
T-12. Theon Greyjoy: 400
T-12. Robyn Arryn’s Gyrfalcon: 400
T-9. Rhaegal and Viserion: 500
T-9. Ser Arthur Dayne: 500
T-9. Jon Snow 500
8. Ser Alliser Thorne: 750
7. Arya Stark: 800
6. Daario Naharis: 1,000
5. The Waif: 1,225
4. Tormund Giantsbane: 1,600
3. Ellaria Sand: 2,000
2. Drogon: 20,000
1. Hodor: 27,000,000