There’s nothing more chill than being a chill bro. And on the most certainly not chill show, Game of Thrones, we want to give credit to all the Bros who have some chill.
So who will win the Game of Chill Bros?
Find out by reading the ranking below.
First up, the non-chill Bros from Episode Three: High Sparrow.
Lord Petyr Baelish
There are a lot of not chill things you can do. You can drink your roommate’s last IPA and not replace it, Tim. You can wash yourself with your roommate’s bar soap and not care enough to clean your pubes off it, Tim.
But tops on that list on not chill things a person can do is be a manipulative pedophile.
Don’t be a manipulative pedophile, Bros.
Chill Bro Points: -10,000
Ser Jorah Mormont
Look, I get it. When spurned by someone we love, we’ve all done drastic things. Flowers. Mixtapes. I think I once mailed an ex-girlfriend her favorite, difficult to find, kiwi-flavored lip gloss.
But kidnapping? Nah, brah. Nah.
Chill Bro Points: -500
Christ. It’s like you’ve never been to an elite academy for trained assassins before.
Chill Bro Points: -100
Now, the chill Bros.
Honorable mention to all the dead people in the House of Black and White. Can’t chillax harder than those guys.
5. King Tommen Baratheon, First of His Name.
Look at that smirk. That is one chill “I just banged a hottie and I get to bang her again” smirk.
Chill Bro Points: 100
4. Roose Bolton
“Look, I know flaying people is kind of our thing, but how about we try and not flaying some people for once?”
Chill Bro Points: 200
Ladies love a good listener. Be more like Poderick, Bros.
Chill Bro Points: 300
2. Ser Davos Seaworth
Putting in a good word for your Bro after he’s peaced out is pretty chill thing to do if you ask me.
Chill Bro Points: 400
1. Jon Snow
Finishing your beer before you chop a man’s head off? We all wish we could be so chill.
Chill Bro Points: 500,000
Here are the standing after three episodes. Be sure to check back next week. Disagree with my rankings? Take it to the comments.
1. Jon Snow: 499,950
2. Jaqen H’ghar: 10,000
T-3. The Wall: 500
T-3. Poderick: 500
T-5. The Dude Boning Loras Tyrell: 400
T-5. The Unsullied: 400
T-5. Ser Davos Seaworth: 400
T-8. Ser Barristan Selmy: 300
T-8. Lord Varys: 300
T-10. Bronn the Sellsword: 200
T-10. Roose Bolton: 200
T-12. Kevan Lannister: 100
T-12. Mance Rayder: 100
T-12: King Tommen Baratheon, First of His Name: 100
15. Samwell Tarly: -50
T-16. Arya Stark – 100
T-16. Brienne of Tarth: -100
18. Cersei Lannister: -200
T-19. Ser Jorah Mormont -500
T-19. Drogon: -500
21. Lord Petyr Baelish -10,000