When I start to get that feeling that the world is conspiring against me and begin to get down on myself, I try to recalibrate by thinking about one of those children in India who have the ginormous hands and doctors are like “yo bro I’m stumped.” Understanding that there’s always someone who has it worse is the best way I know how to avoid slipping into a deep, dark depression.
Today, I take solace in the fact that Gerard Butler, 47-year-old A-list movie star, broke up with his former model girlfriend Morgan Brown after a source close to the actor claimed that girls thirst over the Butler so much, it started to take its toll.
“Girls throw themselves at him,” a source told Page Six. “It’s hard for him to constantly say, ‘No. Get away from me. I have a girlfriend.’”
Pictured: A Serbian woman playing her best hand at a night club in Belgrade.
Tragic. Truly fucking tragic. I feel like we should set up a GoFundMe or something. It’s the holiday season so if you don’t mind contributing $1 for the famous stable of women Butler’s loved and lost, I’m sure that would bolster his spirits and his $30 million net worth.
I hope Gerard gets back on his feet soon. Because he’s probably laying down fucking right now.