This Hilarious Onion Parody Commercial of Cheesy Dating Websites Is Absolutely Perfect

So I realize that this brilliant parody by The Onion debuted nearly two months ago and has over one million views, but it’s the first time that I am seeing it and it really did not get the media coverage that it rightfully deserves. You’ve seen the commercials for dating sites such as eHarmony where they show a success story of two strangers finding their soul mate and falling deeply in love. The parody is done with the typical sappy piano music as they recount the enchanting details of their fairy tale romance:

This is the woman that I want to empty my balls into for the rest of my life.”

A lot of people on dating sites aren’t looking for their one true love, but rather their one true great fuck. You can really tell that these two beloved sweethearts have really found their one true fuckbuddy. Sorry. I’m literally tearing up over here. I just get emotional thinking about how I will hopefully find that one lucky lady that “I can plow so hard that she’d walk funny for two days straight.”