Mark Wahlberg Says Michael Bay Will Direct ‘Transformers 5,’ So Prepare For Another Explosive Bout Of Cinema Diarrhea

It doesn’t matter whether or not you enjoyed any of the Transformers films because there is no way you can objectively state that they’re good movies. What is a good movie, you ask? A good movie is one that has good acting, good plot and a good script. The Transformers films have none of these. Lots and lots of explosions they do have, but my morning constitution has those as well and I’ve yet to have anyone knocking on my front door asking to make a movie out of that. And I’m not just saying all this to be contrary — I actually think the Transformers movies are total and utter shit. I mean for fuck’s sake look at this product placement:

Brb while I chug a Bud Light and listen to my BEATZ HEDPHONEZ, because from what it looks like the only reason this sequel was even made was so Mark Wahlburg would have an excuse to get shithoused on set.

But some people actually enjoy the Transformers franchise. I don’t know who these people are or what drugs they’ve been taking, but they exist out there…somewhere. Maybe. And according to Mark Wahlberg these people are about to have a field day since Michael Bay will supposedly be directing Transformers 5. Via Collider:

Do you have any update on the status of Transformers 5? Have you heard anything about what’s going on?

WAHLBERG: I don’t. Just that Akiva [Goldsman] and those guys are starting to write and break stories, and stuff like that. But [Michael] Bay is in Malta shooting Benghazi, and I’m in New Orleans shooting Deepwater. We’ll get together when he gets back.

Do you think he’ll still ultimately direct it?


So get ready for an impending summer full of explosions, plot holes and a lot lot lot of shitty acting.

[H/T Collider]