Game of Thrones Season 6 is in full swing, and with characters doing terrible things everywhere — you’re wasting those apples, Ramsey — we figured we’d focus on characters we like to see on screen. The ones who’d be the best to get a beer with.
That said, Thrones is one of those shows where there are, like, a bajillion characters, so to make things easier, I had to make one rule: characters still living.
Here are my rankings.
The ‘Red Woman’ is a complete wild card but there is one fact about her that I know to be true 1000% of the time: Melisandre is ALWAYS down to bang. Sure, she’s probably manipulating you for your blood and might try to light you on fire shortly after but for a brief period of time she’s stripping in front of you.
Yes, Melisandre is going to try to convince you that you’re the one true king but people on the internet call me King Lester sooo I’m already her type. No brainwashing necessary. And fortunately, I don’t have any children to burn alive so there’s really no downside for me.
6. Jaime Lannister
Jaime Lannister goes back and forth between being a heroic knight and a complete asshole. One second he’s saving Brienne of Tarth from a grizzly bear and the next second he’s banging Cersei on their dead son’s corpse.
Here’s why you have to grab a beer with Jaime, he’s seen some shit. No one was closer to the Mad King than Jaime. Let him tell that Kingslayer story again except it won’t be super sad. Let him do what he does best, brag. Plus at the end of the night you know a Lannister is going to pay for drinks.
5. The Hound
Sandor Clegane, AKA The Hound, is number five with a bullet. I know I began by stating that this list will consist of on characters who are still alive. Yes, Brienne cut him up like construction paper and Arya Stark left him there to die but you never actually see him die.
I could’ve watched the adventures of Arya and The Hound forever. I wanted them to have their own spin-off series where they just run through the countryside stabbing fools and stealing their cash. You want to grab a beer with The Hound because you’re going to need someone like him on your side just in case some shit goes down.
4. Olenna Tyrell
If you’re going to be living in King’s Landing then you’re going to have to put up with a lot of drama. Rumors, schemes, plot and treachery is what makes King’s Landing tick. Everyone you meet has ulterior motives. Everyone except Olenna Tyrell.
The matriarch of the Tyrell’s keeps it real. She says exactly what’s on her mind and isn’t cute about it. Of course I’d want to grab a beer with her in the High Gardens and just talk shit about the Lannisters. Plus she poisoned the king and suffered zero consequences for her actions. You need someone like that in your corner.
Ser Bronn of the Blackwater might sneaky be my favorite character in Westeros. Any time he’s on screen you have to reach for your remote control and turn the volume up. His philosophy of fighting and fucking changed my life.
You know if you grab a beer with Bronn, you’re going to have a memorable night. The reason why he’s not the clear number one on this list is because he’s the textbook definition of a fair weather friend. You think you’re having a good time until he wanders off with a new group of people who are willing to buy him more expensive drinks.
2. Tyrion Lannister
Tyrion Lannister seems to be the only character who thinks before he acts. If you’re going to grab a beer with someone, you’re going to want to hang out with someone who can keep up mentally and in Westeros, not many characters are capable of that.
Here are two problems that keeps Tyrion from that oh so important number one spot, Tyrion for sure thinks he’s better than everyone. I’m not in a hurry to be spoken down to. Second, Tyrion is the biggest drinker on the planet. If a dwarf out drinks me, I may have to retire from drinking entirely. There’s a lot of pressure there.
I mean, duh. Davos is the best character in Game of Thrones. He was loyal to a king that had no real claim to the throne and burned people alive but he followed him into war anyway. After he lost his fingers, and then his son died, he still returned to Stannis’ corner. Imagine having a drinking buddy willing to die for you.
He’s the only character who is completely likable. Not a bad bone in his body. He has that Han Solo/Jack Sparrow smuggler/pirate background and you know after a few drinks, you’re in for some crazy tales. Davos might be the only good guy in this series. He’s 1000% the guy I want to grab a beer with.