So what has the 22-year-old done to earn so much cash. Absolutely nothing important to the progression of America as a society but a ton of important shit for tweens.
Selena Gomez began her journey to fame much like other precious 90s kids: Barney. That’s right, a precious 7-year-old Selena was the regular ‘Gianna’ on Barney and Friends.
After two years on the show, Selena did bit parts here and there but didn’t experience long tenure anywhere until 2007 when she became “Alex” on the Disney channel show, Wizards of Waverly Place, officially becoming a Disney princess in her own right.
The show ran until 2012, and Gomez reportedly earned $25,000 an episode, not too bad at all for a teen.
That’s right, $25K an episode for that shit sandwich of a show. Every time you fapped it to her, and imagined she was touching your magic wand, she collected a ton of cash from the Mouse with the deep pockets. Gomez also has people listening to her records, watching her above average movies and following her every verbal queef on Twitter.
Here’s to Selena! Making more money than brain surgeons and college professors. God bless Disney-branded ‘Merica. Home of millionaire actress and dog fuckers.