MUST-READ: Steve Harvey Wrote A Glorious Letter To His Employees Telling Them To Leave Him Alone

Quartz


Steve Harvey has spoken. The message is clear: the only thing he’s willing to give his peasant employees is a way of living. Food on the table. Possibly a Christmas bonus. Maybe bagels in the kitchen once a quarter. What more can you ask of a single man? A man who has a show named simply his first and last name knows that he doesn’t need ’em. Some perky piss any production assistant who was cum laude from UCLA will fill anyone’s spot whose feelings are hurt by Steve Harvey telling them he wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire. All that tight-ass needs is $8.75 an hour and a social media account so he can tell his friends how cool his job is.

Bill: Stevey, old buddy old pal, will you be my child’s godfather.

Steve: Bob, I wouldn’t recognize you if you fucked my wife.

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If you can make a show from just your name and have it carry you into a fifth season, you can park in a handicapped spot while Wendy limps her diabetic ass across state lines. Not saying it’s right or wrong, but it’s the way it is, so the debate over right or wrong is ultimately frivolous. That business model doesn’t fly with everyone. The Steven Hawking Show would have the ratings of the WNBA preseason. Harvey has the keys the castle, it’s just a shame it took him five seasons to embrace it.

[h/t Quartz]

 

 

 

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.