Sisqo, man. I don’t think there’s one red-blooded American male who hasn’t gotten a half-assed, uninspired handjob with Sisqo in his ear. Personally, the dude was more present for my hookups as a kid than my uncle. Just kidding, man. That’s dark. Anyway, now that I’ve soiled by name to thousands of strangers, I’m going to sign off and drink some bleach.
VMAs tonight. 9 pm EST.