I’m not a religious man, but I’ve recently caught a glimpse of heaven and it features the five Gronkowski brothers, an endless cooler of cold brewskis, Chubbs Peterson, fresh pow, and some good old fashion wife-swapping.
Upon death, those worthy of of this supernatural oasis will be gifted a pair of Pit Viper sunglasses (MY GRANDMA’S FAVORITE SHADES) and will be encouraged to live their gnarliest lives, as demonstrated in the Gronkowski brothers x Pit Viper ski vacation.
This vision is my religion, and this video is my Bible.
Here are some highlights:
Is there a Change.org petition to replace cross-country skiing with this in the Winter Olympics? DM me if so.
LIL SUMPIN’ FOR THA FELLAS
Don’t sleep on Poppa Gronk on your right there, he’s undefeated against cold ones since 1982. A truly tremendous run, under-appreciated in the Gronk family legacy if you ask me.
LIL’ SUMPIN 4 THA LADIEZ
Is any weekend really complete without a strategically-placed thirst trap? My wife approves. Unfortunately.
TOMFOOLERY / BALLYHOO
It wouldn’t surprise me if the five Gronkowski brothers are still in that exact same spot, days after the Pit Viper crew shut the lights off, just gyrating to a non-existent camera.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GLENN!
Little known fact: Pit Viper sunglasses are your best defense against cake-induced pink eye.
Far be it for me to yuck on someone’s yum.
And Rob was never seen again.
It’s how he would’ve wanted to go out.
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