The Gronkowski Brothers Ski Vacation With Pit Viper Is What Bro Heaven Looks Like

Pit Viper


I’m not a religious man, but I’ve recently caught a glimpse of heaven and it features the five Gronkowski brothers, an endless cooler of cold brewskis, Chubbs Peterson, fresh pow, and some good old fashion wife-swapping.

Upon death, those worthy of of this supernatural oasis will be gifted a pair of Pit Viper sunglasses (MY GRANDMA’S FAVORITE SHADES) and will be encouraged to live their gnarliest lives, as demonstrated in the Gronkowski brothers x Pit Viper ski vacation.

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This vision is my religion, and this video is my Bible.

Here are some highlights:

SYCRONIZED SKI

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Is there a Change.org petition to replace cross-country skiing with this in the Winter Olympics? DM me if so.

LIL SUMPIN’ FOR THA FELLAS

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Don’t sleep on Poppa Gronk on your right there, he’s undefeated against cold ones since 1982. A truly tremendous run, under-appreciated in the Gronk family legacy if you ask me.

LIL’ SUMPIN 4 THA LADIEZ

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Is any weekend really complete without a strategically-placed thirst trap? My wife approves. Unfortunately.

TOMFOOLERY / BALLYHOO

 

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It wouldn’t surprise me if the five Gronkowski brothers are still in that exact same spot, days after the Pit Viper crew shut the lights off, just gyrating to a non-existent camera.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GLENN!

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Little known fact: Pit Viper sunglasses are your best defense against cake-induced pink eye.

BROTHERLY LOVE

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Far be it for me to yuck on someone’s yum.

69’ing

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And Rob was never seen again.

It’s how he would’ve wanted to go out.

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Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.