There isn’t a sportswriter in the country that hasn’t had the “Tebow Talk” with his editor. If you can fit Timmy’s moniker into any headline–and I mean ANY headline–you do it.
While St. Timothy is proud to hold a lifetime subscription to Blue Balls Magazine, we’re guessing you aren’t familiar with the publication.
So instead of checking out the star of the Patriots fourth preseason game, let’s check out his recent love interest and some of the other top searched WAGS of 2013.
Camilla Belle
Tebow and Miss Belle are reportedly still on the outs. She probably had a deadline about him handing in his V-card and he thought he was being smart by saying when LeBron got a ring, he’d give her one. Cliché story, really.
Belle is an actress, and due to her previous romantic involvement with Tebow, she popped up quite often on browsers everywhere this year. I highly doubt all the web traffic is due to her part in Jurassic Park 2.
Lindsey Vonn
SI swimsuit model? Yes. Iconic Olympian and fierce competitor? Yes. Slow learner? Yes.
Vonn hitched herself to the Tiger Woods wagon after he was revealed to be one of the most notorious philanderers in pro sports history.
She didn’t help her image (but super-charged her clickablilty) earlier this year by releasing engagement style photos of her and Tiger along with a formal request that the couple’s privacy be respected.
I wonder if they’re Facebook official and going to prom.
Request for privacy or not, you’re apparently hooked.
Katherine Webb
AJ McCarron’s queen kicked off 2013 by being the only thing watchable about the National Title game between Alabama and Notre Dame.
I knocked around typing up some Brent Musburger jokes or taking a run at Alabama’s recent Auburn debacle but let’s skip the preamble.
Katherine Webb stuffing a cheeseburger into her mouth:
Sarah Savage
Savage’s time on Johnny Football’s arm helped boost her modeling career no doubt, but that added exposure apparently doomed the relationship.
Your lust-filled clicks destroyed young love. You sit there and think about that.
Micha Auzeene & Teyana Taylor
Colin Kaepernick’s honeymoon with his fan base may be coming to a conclusion as Russell Wilson and the divisional rival Seahawks squad have outshined him recently.
However he could be headed towards off-the-field honeymoon bliss with either Micha Auzeene or Teana Taylor.
Auzeene, an Arizona State track & field star, and Taylor, a recording artist, have both been linked to Kaepernick in recent months and thus both have turned up in searches for the QB’s girlfriend.
If it doesn’t work out with either, perhaps Rihanna can aim to settle her apparent dispute with Taylor by throwing her hat in the ring.
We all know that Rihanna is a great influence on professional athletes during playoff time. No I’m not bitter about J.R. Smith. No I’m not upset that the Knicks blew their post-season opportunity ast year and now are a total dumpster fire. Drop it.
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