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Okay. That was mean. Tom probably isn’t a prick. Tom — I’m certain — is an upstanding gentleman who simply was fortuitously matched with Hilary Duff on Tinder, then somehow convincingly chatted her up enough to get her to agree to a date.
Fuck him. You hear me, Tom? Fuck you. This is war.
Actually, I shouldn’t be all that mad at Tom. He was simply her first ever Tinder date and, like many, many, many first ever Tinder dates, it did not work out. Now, Hilary Duff is still swiping.
On Sunday, we showed you what was alleged to be Hilary Duff’s Tinder profile. This being the internet and us being lazy, we had no way to confirm the veracity of it, but that didn’t stop us from slinging allegations into the ether of the web that Hilary Duff was Tindering her face off in search of a new man.
Well… sometimes rampant speculation serves a purpose, because on On Air With Ryan Seacrest, she copped to using the dating app.
“It’s totally me on Tinder,” insists Hilary. “It kind of started out to be a joke with some of my girlfriends. I was like, ‘Explain this whole thing to me because it’s kind of blowing my mind.’ We were swiping and it started out to be kind of a joke and then I was like, ‘I’m gonna join Tinder,’ and they were like, ‘What?! No way you can’t.’ And I was like, ‘Why can’t I? Yeah, I absolutely can.’ I never thought anything was really going to happen. I was talking to a few of the guys and they were really normally.”
Wow. Yep. That sounds exactly like how a 27-year-old girl would describe joining it. They were like WHAT and I was like NOOO. Ugh. I don’t even want to be matched anymore.
Who am I kidding? I’ve been swiping for DAAAYYS. I’m trying to get my boss to pay for me to join Plus just so I can find her.
As for Tom, things didn’t work out.
“We went bowling so we didn’t have to talk too much, but we did talk a lot actually,” she explains. “He was cool. He brought a friend and I had some friends there. He used to be in editing for reality shows. Now, he’s an actor and he just wrote a play. He’s an interesting guy. To be honest, I don’t really want an actor either … I think he has a few jobs.”
So did they end the night with a kiss? “No! Absolutely not.”
HAHAHAH he’s a fucking playwright? I take back EVERYTHING I said about Tom not being a prick. All playwrights are pricks. Ohhh, look at me, I’m writing a play. Yea.
No wonder it didn’t work out. But Hil isn’t dissauded by all the loser Brooklyn playwrights on the app. She’s got another date soon.
“I’m just a Tinder animal!”
Same, Hil. Let’s make love.