Ice-T’s Wife Coco Austin’s Butt Is So Large That One Cheek Is Honest-To-God Larger Than My Head

Normally I’d go into a post like this throwing snark and flingin’ shit like I’m at the olympics for bocce ball, but I like Ice-T and Coco. Well, that’s sort of a lie — I don’t know shit about Coco, but Ice? He’s on Law & Order: SVU and he just happens to be my favorite character. Don’t ask me why because I couldn’t tell you if I tried. Most of his lines are just random one-liners, but he pulls them off pretty well for the most part. Like when someone says he can’t go somewhere, then he whips out his badge and says “We got a special pass” — who says that shit?!! The writers on SVU sure do, and Ice-T rolls with the punches and delivers the lines as well as one can when faced with Batman & Robin-esque dialogue.

But back to the point of this post, aka his wife Coco. A single one of her buttcheeks is, literally, larger than my head. For reference, my head is 20 inches in diameter. Coco’s butt, however…

“”42 divided by 2 is 21, making A SINGLE BUTTCHEEK LARGER THAN MY SKULL. Probably larger than your skull too, I’d guess.

You can call bullshit and say her butt is fake or you can indulge in a little absurdity and accept the booty for what it is, but either way…holy shit.