Sara Underwood Topless Holding An Ultimate Warrior Wrestling Buddy Is My Whole Life In One Picture

There it is. Childhood, adolescence, and adulthood in one glorious snapshot. The Ultimate Warrior wrestling buddy is symbolic of a childhood spent in front of a TV watching muscly men dressed in drag beat the bag out of each other, while the topless girl is a microcosm of an adolescence spent in front of the bra and panties section of my mom’s Macy’s catalog. God I wish I could still turn those pages.

Anyhoo, wrestling kind of lost its luster for me when I was old enough to dominate un-staged sports and after I found out Hulk Hogan was a racist shithead and my mom’s magazines became irrelevant when porn. And it’s pretty much been porn in the driver’s seat ever since. I honestly don’t see porn taking its foot off the gas anytime soon either.

But good Lord, if there’s a SFW-ish substitute for porn, then Sara Underwood’s Instagram account is the Reduced Fat Cheez-It to PornHub’s Cheez-It.


Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.