There it is. Childhood, adolescence, and adulthood in one glorious snapshot. The Ultimate Warrior wrestling buddy is symbolic of a childhood spent in front of a TV watching muscly men dressed in drag beat the bag out of each other, while the topless girl is a microcosm of an adolescence spent in front of the bra and panties section of my mom’s Macy’s catalog. God I wish I could still turn those pages.
Anyhoo, wrestling kind of lost its luster for me when I was old enough to dominate un-staged sports and after I found out Hulk Hogan was a racist shithead and my mom’s magazines became irrelevant when porn. And it’s pretty much been porn in the driver’s seat ever since. I honestly don’t see porn taking its foot off the gas anytime soon either.
But good Lord, if there’s a SFW-ish substitute for porn, then Sara Underwood’s Instagram account is the Reduced Fat Cheez-It to PornHub’s Cheez-It.