Help name this ridiculous Burger King food hack

McDonald’s has the McGangbang and the Land, Sea, and Air; now the the creepiest royal in the fast food game is getting into the foray with this Burger King food hack involving the dumbest collection of patties you’ll see outside of Epic Meal Time.

Colin Joliat

It wouldn’t be right to call this a Burger King secret menu item because they have no clue that it now exists. In fact, they struggled with my order when it was just individual pieces. The kid behind the counter looked as confused as he was probably was trying to buy condoms for the first time. “Chicken Big King with half of it spicy? Now is that spicy for her pleasure or mine?”

So what is this tower of power? The initial order was one Beef Big King, one Half-Spicy Chicken Big King, and one Big Fish. I didn’t realize that the $1 Spicy Chicken Crispy Jr. was actually just the normal chicken with Firecracker Sauce on top until I tried to order the Chicken Big King with one of the patties spicy. The cashier was even more dumbfounded by my attempt, but this one’s on me. It shows how closely I pay attention. All was right in the world when they just added the firecracker sauce to the bottom chicken patty for me. That makes for four different sandwiches in one super Big King.

As I’m about to make this Burger King food hack a staple of my diet, I need to come up with a name for it. I turned to Facebook for suggestions, and they didn’t let me down. I figured I’d let the Guyism experts weigh in as well before an official name is chosen. Here are some of the best suggestions so far. Comment with your pick, or even better, add your own.

Minimum Wage Rage
The Excaliburger
The Gravedigger
The Fat Fuck
Cardiac Arrest on a Sesame Seed Bun
The Leaning Tower of Regret
Obamacare Special
The Basement Dweller
The Sad Human
What’s Inside Anna Nicole’s Urn
2 Day Butt Rattler
Forever Alone Sandwich
The Lonsome Colon
Death Tower
The Brown Note

If you want to try it, you’d better do it soon. This Burger King food hack really only works when the Big King is two for $5 because after that the price is a deterrent. It’s all the Big Fish’s fault. If they had a value menu option it wouldn’t be too bad, but sadly fish doesn’t grow in seas.

<a href="Need another Burger King Food Hack?

In case you still weren’t sure how to eat the BK Extra Long BBQ Burger, here you go. Call it a Burger King food hack or a stupid human trick, just don’t forget to crank up the volume.