Oftentimes, the quality of a local movie theater will range from shitty to adequate, but we go to them anyway. We plunk down ever-increasing amounts of money, sitting in ever-aging chairs that squeak and groan under our weight and snacking on liquid-fat covered popcorn while watching the feature film. So, what would make the movie theater experience better than this? Let’s take a look.
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7 More accurate show time schedules
The movie schedule should tell us when the movie will actually start rather than when the 10-25 minutes of commercials, trailers and that cheesy theater advertisement are beginning. Theaters: you don’t have to advertise to us, we are already there.
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6 Better chairs
And let’s make them overstuffed while we’re at it. There are plenty of movie-goers who would rather pay a small surcharge in order to get a hold of more legroom and a reclining chair that allows us to lean back in comfort as the cinematic experience of gun fights, sex scenes and twist endings washes over us in wave after wave of happiness.
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5 Better food
Flavorless, plastic-y, neon-yellow nacho cheese needs to be a thing of the past, already. Give us nachos that have pico de gallo, sour cream, meat and real melted cheese.
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4 Dine in options
In fact, let’s give dinner and a movie a whole new meaning by skipping the restaurant and eating dinner at the movies. Some AMC theaters actually offer this option, but here’s to hoping it’s a standard feature someday. Hell yeah I want to get served some Bang-Bang shrimp while I watch a helicopter explode. Check it out.
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3 More shut the f#ck up
SounDirect. That’s a term I just coined for future technology that would provide a way to block out the cries of young children, the giggles of teenagers, the snoring of the elderly and the cackling of groups of friends, while still retaining all the audio clarity of the movie.
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2 More fully capable screens
When the first part of The Hobbit was released, there were five viewing options. Five. There was 2D, 3D, 3D HFR (High Frame Rate), Imax 3D and Imax 3D HFR. To get the full experience that Peter “God” Jackson intended in the state of New York, you’d have to go to the only screen capable of Imax 3D HFR, which resides in Midtown Manhattan. In a perfect world, every movie screen would be capable of this.
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1 Bar service
I don’t know about you, but when I’m watching an explosion, a sweeping vista or a character’s finest soliloquy; I’d like to do it with a drink in my hand. Instead of making us resort to pouring a flask of Jameson into oversize Coca-Cola cups, how about a bar I can quickly duck out to during the boring part to grab a beer? Yeah. Hell yeah.
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