My partner makes waaay more/less than me

A surprising byproduct of my recent text breakup blog was the exorbitant number of people asking for relationship advice. So here’s a topic many people are wondering about with regard to relationships: money.

I am surprised this is still a Thing, but many people are still so curious about that nagging question: how do I handle being involved with someone who makes significantly more (or, even more problematic, less) money than I?

It’s something we’ve all dealt with. I took my public school high school boyfriend to college with me. Not the actual university — he was lucky enough to get in anywhere with the amount of weed he ingested as a tween — but in my heart. That was dumb of me.

I loved him in that way we all love our first boyfriends. It’s not chemical, sexual love at that point; it’s just genuine care. So when I gifted this said boyfriend with an Xbox 360 on his 18th birthday because I didn’t want to actually see (or touch, or explain that I had no desire to ever again sleep next to) him, things got super weird.

Does money make a difference? Yes. But not because of its intrinsic purchasing power. Instead, it’s got a lot more to do with what it means to the beholder.

For example — I’d been involved with an on-again, off-again disaster for 3+ years. He lives a few blocks from me. Not only was he “too busy” to come for my birthday in Georgetown, but he was also too busy to make it to my first book signing. I don’t know his net value, but I could probably ballpark it at $4 to 5 million.

Then, there’s another guy. He lives exactly one-half of a world away. He is worth no less than $500 million. He dropped everything to fly 25 hours to get to my book signing, stay two days, and fly back home in time for the Asian markets to open Monday. In short, he spent more time in Emirates First Class than he did on solid land.

That annoying excuse, “I’m too busy working” — that won’t be used by anyone that actually cares about you.

People who recognize value to experiences, meaningful and immeasurable, will be much more successful in relationships. Take pride in what you do — be it blogger or busboy or businessman. That’s what’s going to show through most to your partner.