So you’re heading back to rehab to get help for your addictions but want to go on one last blowout of a bender, what do you do? If you’re like these two guys down in Florida you fake your own kidnapping for a $100 ransom to be spent on booze and drugs.
You just KNEW that this incident took place down in Florida after reading the headline, didn’t you? Even if the two men involved aren’t native Floridians everything about this case just screams fLOLrida.
The Palm Beach Post reports:
Two out-of-state men told police they made up a phony kidnapping story because they wanted $100 to get drunk and high one more time before going back to rehab.
Stephen Sandoz, of Baltimore, and Jonathan Hampton, of Sussex, N.J., are in the Palm Beach County Jail facing charges of extortion and fraud. Sandoz also faces a charge of providing false information on a missing person to law enforcement. Sandoz is being held in lieu of $7,000 bail while Hampton remains in jail on $6,000 bail.
The alleged victim told Boynton Beach Police she received a call Sunday afternoon from Hampton, who she knew from drug rehab, saying that he was being held against his will by a drug dealer and needed $150 to be let go, according to a police report.
The saddest part about this story is how it’d only take $100 for two dudes to get all the drugs/alcohol they need to have the best night ever. Maybe I’m picky as fuck, and my taste is too expensive.
Maybe living in NYC for the past few years has warped my perception on what it takes to really get after it at night, but I know I’d definitely need more than $100 for a final hoorah before rehab (if that’s where I was headed). I also don’t know what the prices of meth are, and I’m fully aware that’s one of the drugs-du-jour down in the Sunshine State these days. So if it’s cheap I guess I can fathom why they only asked for $100. Either way, I’m disappointed the didn’t set their standards higher for themselves.
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