Are men in 2011 really all that different from ancient cavemen? Would they not also have laughed if they had been told (and understood) that their descendants and our ancestors proper nomenclature is “homo-erectus?” These answers and more will not be answered in the following list. But, how are we still like our hairy brothers from other ancestral mothers? Read on…
Photo credit: Alejandro Mallea, Flickr
7 Courting Women Hasn’t Evolved All That Much
Instead of clubbing cave women over the head with clubs and dragging them into a nearby bush to conduct some stone age bone rage we just go clubbing (get it?!?). Here we’ll club modern women over the head with sweet talk that’s designed to do the same thing, albeit somewhere that has cushions.
Photo credit: Curran Kelleher, Flickr
6 We still love the hell out of some meat
And not only that, but we love it on the bone and roasting over an open flame. Ribs, wings, T-bone steaks and in the famous words from Eddie Murphy’s Delirious a “Brontosaurus Burger” is what we crave.
Photo credit: Paul Swansen, Flickr
5 Modern technology can still mystify us
By now, we understand the delicate concept of the wheel. It’s computers, phones, software and wireless Internet connections that continue to cause us unrest, anger and primordial confusion.
Photo credit: Angry at computer image by Shutterstock
We have man-caves because we want a place where we can be ourselves. Cavemen had actual caves with cave paintings, we have rooms with posters. And believe me, if someone was able to get plumbing, electricity and Wi-Fi in an actual cave some of us would be there in a heartbeat.
Photo credit: Yury Primakov, Flickr
3 Fire is still awesome
Cavemen were perplexed, frightened and delighted by the wonders of fire. They used it to cook and to stay warm. We have the same relationship. We want to play with it for the sake of curiosity when we’re young and we want to harness its power for the sake of barbecues and bonfires when we get older.
Photo credit: Harsha K R, Flickr
2 Being naked just makes sense
Damn it feels good to come home after a long day of hunting and gathering and just slip off the old fur-covered singlet, be naked for a bit and then slip on something more comfortable (a furry banana hammock). Cavemen, though, would dress according to their environment, and if the weather there happened to warm you can bet your ass that in a fit of troglodytic hedonism they’d be sporting the birthday suit or a scantily clad outfit made of, you guessed it, fur.
Photo credit: Christopher, Flickr
1 We’re still territorial
Get too close to our cars, our homes, or our women and see what happens. Whether we mean to or not, the places we are, the food we eat, and the things we own are still ours and not someone else’s. Being a man is (partly) about staking your claim and we still do that to this day.
Photo credit: Marshall Astor, Flickr
(Previously published on December 9, 2011.)