This 125-Pound Alligator Snapping Turtle Does Not Look Like He Belongs On Planet Earth

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Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission herpetologist (amphibian zoologist, not an STD doctor, bros) Kevin Enge was recently motor boating (in a boat, not boobs, bros) in northern Florida’s Suwannee River when he came across this mammoth alligator snapping turtle. These creatures are the heaviest freshwater turtle in the world and this particular one might take the cake, at a whopping 125-pounds.

Herpetologist Kevin Enge of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is deservedly renowned for his…

Posted by Orianne Society on Monday, June 22, 2015

From my extensive research on the creatures, consisting of a 16 second Wikipedia search, alligator snapping turtles can live to be 80-120 years old and get their name form its immensely powerful jaws, spring-like neck, and the distinct ridges on its shell that resemble an alligators.

I woke up this morning with absolutely no idea these creatures existed. I knew there were alligators and I knew there were snapping turtles, but this hybrid alligaturtle is fucking up my world. Are there any other strange creatures out there that I should know about before I continue living my life? I don’t want a loved one to get snatched up by something I never knew existed and I have to fumble over my words to authorities and lose critical time in the investigation. It’s imperative, bros. WHAT KIND OF MONSTERS ARE WE SHARING THIS WORLD WITH?!

Here is some underwater footage that the FWC captured of this mythical creature crawling on one of Earth’s riverbeds.

[H/T For the Win]