Yesterday evening on Twitter @VICE threw out the question ‘in six words, what’s the drunkest you’ve ever been?’ Maybe I’m a raging alcoholic and the doctors haven’t informed me yet, but I found this to be a pretty hard question to answer. Ultimately, I decided to go with ‘walked into glass door 3 times’ which refers to a night I spent in Mexico in college.
The first time in the night that you walk into the sliding glass door everyone is like ‘haha, what a fool’. The second time that you walk into the sliding glass door in one night people begin to worry. The third time you walk into a sliding glass door in one night everyone suspects you’re a zombie. Unfortunately for me, the third time I walked into the door came shortly after I tried to make a blender full of margaritas but I forgot to add the little metal spinny part to the bottom of the blender, so when I picked up the blender to put it on the stand the lime juice, tequila, and ice went everywhere. In my shame, I went to step out on the porch and walked face first into the door for the third time. Thankfully for me, the sun was already up so I just kept walking and left that poor girl’s condo and went back to the one I was staying at.
That’s my 6 words broken out into a much longer story, and I’m still not sure that’s the drunkest I’ve ever been…Now, here are the best 6 word drunk stories from Twitter:
My parents removed my contact lenses. https://t.co/9IvcmZeGP5
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) June 16, 2017
ordered a buffalo off the internet https://t.co/FCFSaeWcCX
— Cool Eric (@OBiiieeee) June 16, 2017
vomit on pillow. flip over pillow. https://t.co/Cj9H8cYH8s
— maurice (@tallmaurice) June 15, 2017
Both shoes on, one sock off
— Michael Russell (@tdmrussell) June 16, 2017
^^^ Been there.
— Dr Michele Paule (@michele_paule) June 15, 2017
https://twitter.com/braddybb/status/875584501719617536
Threw up in an avocado salad
— Philippa_Perry (@Philippa_Perry) June 15, 2017
vomited on AM flight before takeoff https://t.co/KCgguKhmwf
— Gina Rushton (@ginarush) June 16, 2017
https://twitter.com/ChieGuevara/status/875591938203803649
Joined a fight with a train.
— this place is hell (@OkayWordsByJoel) June 16, 2017
woke up fingertip sewn back on
— Chris Collingwood (@lookpark) June 16, 2017
12 martinis. A pint short of blood…
— Majestic12: Antifa Taco Truck Czar (@T3hmaj3stic12) June 16, 2017
https://twitter.com/mrsklvy/status/875533477088808960
Drank Mexican village out of tequila
— Ellie Gibson (@elliegibson) June 16, 2017
^^^ I did this once with Jager in Bocas del Toro, Panama…We drank the entire island out of Jager..Fuck, maybe I am an alcoholic.
https://twitter.com/Pgh_Jonesy/status/875479258206019585
Bought a monkey on the Internet.
— Johnny (@johnny15two) June 16, 2017
https://twitter.com/normanblake/status/875511818562797569
Alright, bros, hit me with your stories down below in the comments or you can respond to my tweet here:
https://twitter.com/casspa/status/875702939918245888