74 Year-Old Alabama Governor Upped His Emoji Game To Initiate An Affair With His 44 Year-Old Senior Staffer

When I was younger, there was a girl in my class who always used to say that her dad told her that she had to stay in school because otherwise she’d be forced to marry a very old, decrepit man for his money. On the flip side, the same dad used to tell her brothers to stay in school because otherwise they couldn’t be said old man with a lot of money and some young hottie walking around the nursing home in lingerie. I think there’s a meme along those lines floating around somewhere on the internet. Regardless, now that I’m older, I always feel as if gold-diggers get a little bit of a bad wrap. The way people talk about them, one gets the sense that all you have to do is wave your money in their face and they’ll tongue-punch your fartbox everyday for the rest of your life. That’s called prostitution. Rich, married men have to at least spit some semblance of game to get these women to take their clothes off. Like 74 year-old Alabama governor Robert Bentley who upped his emoji game to convince his 44 year-old senior policy advisor to put his old man dick in her mouth.

Via Daily Mail:

“It was a single red rose emoji that first made Dianne Bentley suspicious that her husband Robert, the Governor of Alabama, was having an affair. Two years later and Bentley, 74, is now facing threats of impeachment after a voice recording seemed to implicate he was romantically involved with his 44-year-old senior policy adviser Rebekah Mason. But in 2014 Dianne, who had been married to the Republican governor for almost half a century, only had suspicions. There were less kisses than usual, a refusal to hold her hand at church, which Mason also attended, a meticulously detailed schedule suddenly filled with mysterious blocks merely labeled ‘Hold’.

Suddenly Bentley began putting more thought into his dress, adding bright orange socks and snazzy ties’, according to a feature in GQ. But it was the roses that confused her the most. They would come in random texts from Bentley and were ‘so unexpected and out of character for the governor she wondered if they were intended for someone else’. Dianne began keeping a list of the unusual signs in a notebook, finally confiding in one of the young woman who worked in her First Lady office. The woman revealed that she had noticed Bentley was acting weird as well, specifically with Mason, who he first hired to be his communications director. It was this young woman who would teach Dianne to use the voice recorder on her iPhone. She slipped it on and hid her phone into her purse, telling her husband she was going for a walk one day as they stayed at the family’s beach house along Alabama’s Gulf Coast. Within minutes Bentley was talking to someone on the phone.

‘I love you,’ he told them. ‘When I stand behind you and I put my arms around you, and I put my hands on your breasts and I put my hands on you and pull you in real close, hey, I love that too. I love you. I love to talk to you. I do…but baby, let me tell you what we’re gonna have to go tonight: Start locking the door. If we’re gonna do what we did the other day, we’re gonna have to start locking the door.’

‘Rebekah, I just, I miss you,’ he can then be heard saying. ‘I worry about loving you so much.’
Dianne confronted Bentley after she listened to the recording and he denied having any kind of romantic relationship with his adviser. She didn’t mention it for weeks and it seemed Dianne actually believed her husband. That was until the red rose popped up again, just weeks later.  This time there was a name attached to it: Rebekah.”

Sure, we’re not completely sure what base this guy managed to get to with his lady-friend, but he also had a chick 30 years younger than him responding to his advances. Do I think that she was only entertaining these possibilities because he was 1) Her boss and 2) Much more successful than her? Yes. But he got in the door with those rose emojis. So while you need to stay in school, bros, never sleep on the importance of spitting good game. Otherwise your money is essentially worthless.

[h/t Daily Mail]

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