Man Finds Petrified Alien Corpse In Russia, Definitively (Ish) Proves Extra Terrestrials Visited Earth



Big day for those willing to believe any inexplicable phenomenon is incontrovertible proof that aliens have visited plant Earth. (Which is me.)

And why wouldn’t they come to this planet? It’s lush, temperate and beautiful. Plus, we’ve got steak and cheese sandwiches. If I was an alien, I would come to Earth all the damn time for a cheesesteak. Then I’d eat it back in my ship and get grease all over the motherboard, frying the components, thus being stuck in Philadelphia until repairs could be made. Takes forever for an intergalactic tow ship. Why do you think people from Philly are so fucking awful? Because that town is 92% stranded aliens who just want to go the fuck home. You’d be pissed, too, if that was your home.

This latest find comes from Sosnovy Bor, a town in northern Russia outside of St. Petersburg. It’s fucking weeeeird lookin.




According to one researcher, who is quoted in The Express: “It seems that this body is neither fish nor fowl – this creature has a mysterious skull, no neck and wings.”

The specimen is currently at a lab in Moscow, undergoing extensive testing. Don’t believe whatever they tell you. It will no doubt be a lie. Aliens exist.