First, we found out that hot dogs have human in them. Now, we can add hot dog’s BFF the burger to the list of foods that contain our friends, foes, and family members.
The Independent relayed findings from a new study from US-based food testing company Clear Labs. Among the revelations were two cases of meat in vegetarian products, three burgers with rat DNA and one case of human DNA out of 258 sample burgs.
So, it’s pretty much a forgone conclusion that you’re a cannibal and you might’ve digested Pizza Rat’s cousin.
The report said the most likely cause is “hair, skin, or fingernail that was accidentally mixed in during the manufacturing process” and added “that some amounts of human and rat DNA may fall within an acceptable regulatory range.”
The human body is one dynamic factory. No one knows how much crap is going into our bodies and, if they did, they’d lose all grip on reality, which is ironic, because reality is realer than anyone can handle. Your body only freaks out when it’s overpowered. There are non-stop battles like Star Wars meets Avengers vs. X-Men going on and you body is a boss most of the time. But, then the Doomsday of bacterias or viruses sneaks in and your body’s like buckle up, buttercup.
Other learnings include “almost a quarter of vegetarian burgers have different ingredients to those on the label. Two veggie burgers contained beef, and one black bean burger contained no black beans.”
WHAT DID IT CONTAIN? It was rat shat, wasn’t it?
“Around 6 percent of the burgers substituted one product for another. A common finding was that, for meat burgers, chicken or turkey was unexpectedly added in.
Another problem is that 4.3 percent of burgers contained pathogenic DNA, which can cause food outbreaks and food poisoning.”
You honestly can’t escape this. Nothing’s real. Everything’s a lie. Fourth of July has become a sick holiday.