Ever Hear Of Knocking?!? Guy Sets Apartment On Fire To Escape Sound Of Neighbors Banging

The loud and horny neighbors of one Albuquerque, NM man were having sex so loud, they left him no choice but to escape the sounds. But instead of knocking on their door and asking them to keep it down, or just buying earplugs, the guy tried to burn his apartment to the ground.

That should be like Plan Q.

Reuben Cook, 36, told police he “tried to burn anything he could think of” in his apartment in order to spend the night in “prison” away from his neighbors, according to a criminal complaint filed in Metropolitan Court.

When police arrived at the multi-story, multi-family complex at 5904 Osuna NE a little before 10 p.m. they found minor fire damage, with four separate areas of origin, in one of the apartments.

There’s also no need for “allegedly” in this matter. When the cops asked Cook to tell them “about his day”, Cook said “I started the fires in my apartment.”

Unfortunately, Cook isn’t exactly in the right frame of mind these days. He suffered a stroke seven years ago that left him mentally impaired, and according to his father, they “had to remove part of his brain.”

Cook was released from prison the following day.

[via ABQJournal]

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Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.