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Arlington, Virginia.
Bless it. Bless it so much. I spent four great years there, from when I was 26 to when I was 30 and, having lived all over the country, I can attest that within its confines exist some of the bro-iest fucking bros.
A lot of it, I think, has to do with its proximity to D.C. So many Arlington dudes work for the federal government and its easy 9-5 jobs — while essentially meaningless — give the people who work them a faux importance. And spending cash. With nothing to do and no real responsibilities and a highfalutin sense of self, the guys in Arlington turn to bro-ing out for their fun.
But it’s apparently getting a little too bro-ey for the rest of its denizens. The city recently put limits on bar crawls and now has jacked up the fine for cursing.
That’s right, being out with your boys and dropping a “fuck” or a “shit” could hit you hard in the wallet (hard like the smashing you were planning on doing). From The Washington Post:
There was a time when cursing in Arlington would only cost you a fine of $100. But this past weekend, Virginia’s Arlington County Board adopted an ordinance that upped the fine for lewd language to $250.
The board also tweaked their laws about public drunkenness, allowing them to arrest more bros.
The Arlington County Board said its long-standing Public Drunkenness and Profanity ordinance was constitutionally vague, and, in addition to increasing fines, it changed the wording from “drunkenness” to “intoxication” to more clearly cover intoxicants other than alcohol.
In 2014, the Arlington County Police Department reported arresting 664 individuals for either appearing drunk or using profanity in public, with less than 1 percent of those occurring for cursing in public. According to the board’s memo, there were times when someone was under the influence of an intoxicant other than alcohol, but enforcement was not possible under the code as it was written.
All told, it appears Arlington is no longer the safe space it once was for bros.
Which is probably good. We should all try to behave better in public.