This Woman Has An Artificial Vagina Made From Pig Intestines Because Her Original Vagina Was Too SMALL For Sex
You know that episode of Family Guy where Stewie is chatting with a prostitute for reasons I currently can’t recall, and he says “So, is there any tread left on the tires, or at this point is it just like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?” Take that, flip it 180 degrees and now you have the case of this poor unnamed Czech woman who’s vagina was so small that it was like, I dunno, trying to shove a watermelon up your nose I guess? I get paid to give you summaries on vaguely interesting shit going on in the news, not to come up with fake Family Guy quotes.
Anyhoo, a Czech woman was found to have a vagina so small that even her gynecologist couldn’t properly examine her. Most of you don’t know what goes on during a gynecological exam, so let me break it down for you:
3. OH WOW okay there’s now a giant metal rod being shoved up my vagina
4. Wow that pole is cold
6. Is the rod gone yet? It is? Okay cool
So imagine how that lady felt when her doctor tried muppeting her with that miniature stripper pole.
The gynecologist then referred her to a hospital where doctors decided to graft pig intestine into the woman’s vagina in order to make it bigger, because that’s definitely the first thing that would pop into my head rather than something obvious like cramming a shoe horn up there:
Doctors there decided to try out the operation after learning that a similar procedure involving pigs intestine could be used on people who had a narrow bladder…
To try and help the woman, surgeons decided to carry out surgery using a technique called a Mesh Augmented Vaginal Reconstruction…
During surgery to treat the Czech patient, surgeons made an incision to enlarge the narrowed area.
They then used the mesh – made from pig’s intestine and just 1mm wide – to successfully widen the walls of her vagina.
Over time, human tissue will be created around the net and the pig net will be absorbed by the body.
Don’t pretend you actually understood what any of that meant, because I sure as hell didn’t. Somehow Pigs + Small Vaginas + ??? = Profit, but I’m also bad at math so I may have missed a few steps there, which would explain why all of that was practically gibberish to me.
According to Vladmir Kalis, the head doctor of the gynecological-obstetrical clinic at the hospital, the surgery was a success and can now have sex like a normal human being. No word yet on whether or not she oinks during sex.