Ashamed Of Your Dog’s Anus? Cover It Up With Rear Gear

Dog Butt

Dogs are cute and all, but like, ugh, what is up with their butt holes? Why can’t their butt holes be somewhere we can’t see it? Like, I dunno, as like, part of their ear where it’s tucked away and sure, maybe the dogs would have to put their heads to the ground to poop, but at least then I wouldn’t have to watch the poo come out of their butt holes.

I mean, come on. If I were gonna rank the cutest parts of the dog, it would go their face and then tail and then paws and maybe then belly. Their butts would be last, last on my list of cutest things on a dog.

If you think like that–and god, I hope you don’t because you have a firm understanding of what an animal is–there’s thankfully a solution for you.

Rear Gear is the plastic tramp stamp for your dog’s ass, designed so you no longer have to look at its butt hole ever again.

It’s the work of a person on Etsy, and for only five dollars, you can get that shit under wraps.

Is your pet feeling left in the dirt because of his/her unsightly rear? I’ve got them covered… Rear Gear is handmade in Portland, OR and offers a cheerful solution to be-rid your favorite pet’s un-manicured back side.

Rear Gear comes in many designs including a disco ball, heart, flower, biohazard, smiley face, number one ribbon, cupcake, sheriff’s badge, dice, and you can even make yours custom, so there’s a Rear Gear for everyone.

Ohh biohazard. How meta-jokingly twee.

The irony is that to take the above Rear Gear photo, that chick probably had to get closer to a dog’s ass than she’s ever been before.

Suffice it to say: Don’t buy this. Your dog’s butt is not unsightly. It’s just its butt.

[H/T Daily Dot]