I was recently chatting with Brandon the other day, asking about a restaurant he tried the night before.
“Good second date spot,” he opined.
“Haven’t had a lot of second dates,” I immediately responded.
Which is true. Since moving to New York, I’ve had a pretty impressive run of dates that have gone nowhere. Maybe it’s my general uncouth appearance and Bro-ish demeanor that’s been holding me back.
Or, maybe, it’s because I haven’t been saying the word “you” enough.
How about you? How are you doing? You look lovely.
Would those three simple phrases turn me into a sex god? Not entirely, but they do, according to a new study, ramp up the potential for a second date. At least according to science:
[Researchers at Stanford University and the University of California, Santa Barbara] ran free speed dating events for (heterosexual) grad students in which they recorded what everyone said. After the date, the grad students reported how well they “clicked” with their partners for roughly 1,000 four-minute conversations.
The data showed that women felt more connected when men were actively engaged in the conversation and focused on them. Women were more likely to feel connected
- when men “mimicked their laughter” (meaning they laughed right after the woman laughed, not made fun of their laugh),
- “interrupted them” (also not what it sounds like – asked questions to show they were paying attention),
- and used the word “you.”
Well, alright, Bros. Go forth. Say you a lot. You you you. Remember, it’s not “Do me,” it’s “I want to do you.”
That’s bound to work!
[Via The Washington Post]