Believe it or not, sex toys aren’t for the faint of heart – not only can you die if you use them improperly (ever tried eating a dildo?), but if you’re literally fucking around and not paying attention to where it’s going there’s a fair possibility of it getting lost up your…
Well…
…I’ll let Redditor minigrut take it from here. Let his tale of misery and woe persuade you to not lose sex toys up your asshole:
So this was resolved like 30 mins ago and is both funny and super embarrassing to me but oh well.
A bit of backstory first. My girlfriend and I work at a hospital as RNs, and I’m usually on duty in the emergency room, while she works in oncology.
The set up.
So after a long 16 hour shift, i get off work around 7pm and I’m feeling in the mood for some good ol’ fashion lovin. My gf was off so she stayed home all day and watched daredevil. So i decided send a couple of seductive texts her way so she knows I’m planning to storm the trenches. As im driving home she sends me a text saying “we should use that new toy I bought last week”. She had bought some kind of remote control vibrating mini dildo and we used it on ocassion at work. So thought yeah why not, lets do it and sent her a text.
The fuck up.
I get home, and we waste no time in getting down and dirty. So about an hour into our brawl/love making she tells me to put the mini vibrator in her ass and to continue to fuck her because shes become recently obsessed with double penetration. So with not a second of hesitation i flip her over and plung the vibrator deep in her ass then continue on my merry way. After we both finished, i got up to clean up and as im standing in the bathroom i see my gf’s face in the mirror. She has this wierd look of both uneasiness and sheer panic and the following conversation takes place.
Me: whats wrong with you? If you gotta take a shit go for it im just about done
Gf: we need to go to the hosipital
Me: wtf, why?
Gf: the vibrator isn’t comming out
Me: hahahahaha you have a vibrator stuck……in…..your…..oh shit what!?
So as two people who have been in the medical field for 8+ years we both come to the logical conclusion that freaking the fuck out is the best possible answer. Immediately i start looking for the remote and i find it on the floor amid the discarded clothes and turn it off. We get in the car and drive to the closest hospital which just so happens to be the one we both work at. So after a couple of hours and an embarrassing x-ray later we found out that the little fucker had wiggled it’s way to the top of her rectum and turned sideways. To add insult to injury the doctor who oversaw us had a reputation for having a big mouth in the hospital. So as im sitting here typing this in my scrub bottoms and a punisher t-shirt i assume the whole hosipital knows what happened.
[Via Reddit]