Bro Goes On Legendary Twitter Rant About How His Girlfriend Has Made Him A Better Man And Lover

by 2 years ago
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Imagine a world without women. How quickly do you think funneling beers, arm wrestling, and helicoptering our dicks around in a field would get old? That’s what we’d do right? Nah? Ok, well I’m down to nix the arm wrestling thing. Whip it out though, bruh. I’m not fucking around.

I think we can all agree that beyond women being the yin to our wangs, they are generally more refined and less animalistic than us bros. They are the reason I haven’t completely given up on my appearance and the driving force behind me throwing away my once beloved JNCO jeans. #RIP.

On top of that, their skin is softer, they smell good, and their butt cracks aren’t a wasteland of tangled hair and hardened dingle berries. For real, I have one stubborn little fucker that’s been hanging on since Clinton was in office. At this point, it’s as much a part of me as a limb and I’ve gone from annoyed to flat out impressed by it being able to withstand thousands of wipes. If I had half the grit the resolve as that dingleberry, I wouldn’t give up on everything I start.

Anyhoo, a bro on Twitter went on a poetic tangent on why his girlfriend has made him a better man, lover, and civilized human being. This belongs in a museum.

I hope this ignites you bros to tell your girls how much they mean to you. Enjoy.


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