These Guys Crying Over Text To Their Girlfriends About Having To Buy Them Tampons All Need To Grow A Dick
Look, I get it. I am fully aware that buying c-plugs for your girl’s vag isn’t a super fun experience. But I also don’t understand all the embarrassment.
You’re buying these for someone else. And based solely on the product, that someone is unmistakably a female. Anyone with a shred of intelligence knows that you aren’t in CVS buying tampons for yourself. If anything, waltzing into a store and buying them without batting a fucking eye makes you look like a guy who is secure, not some little bitch who is all like, “I don’t know what to do, everyone is staring at me. What will they think about me buying these gross tampons?”
No, Bro, not you. You have to approach it like the most cocksure motherfucker ever to roam the earth, “My girl is at home practically bleeding to death, you know? This is the least I can do for her. While I’m here, ring up this copy of In Touch for me. And you know what, throw in this 1,000 pack of magnums while were at it. Gonna need these once she’s back on her feet.”
There is one thing, however, that is the worst item for a guy to buy and that is Preperation-H. Tampons say, “At least one chick wants me and I’m secure about this purchase.” Condoms say, “Yeah, I fuck. Want to come smell my dick?” But all Preparation-H says is, “My asshole isn’t doing so hot, gang. And this tube of Preparation-H is the last resort before I have to sit on an inflatable donut for the next 30 days.”
But tampons…tampons are nothing to be embarrassed about. And all these guys should be ashamed of themselves.