This Chick’s Accent On Jeopardy Last Night Made Me Want To Stick My Head In An Industrial Wood Chipper

by 3 years ago  •  2 Comments

https://platform.vine.co/static/scripts/embed.js

Listen, I’m not trying to be a dick here. I have so many deficiencies, both externally and internally. Rebecca Martinson turned to be the other day and randomly told me I had bad skin. I told her that beauty was skin deep and she reminded me that I’m also a shitty person. Those are my demons. I struggle with them daily.

So how do I cope with my own insecurities? Project them on other people to make myself feel better about growing man boobs and a lifelong string of ill-advised decisions DUHHH.

And Jeopardy contestant Laura Ashby just happens to be the latest victim, by no fault of her own. She’s probably a nice, philanthropic, well-to-do lady. But none of that matters right now because her accent makes me want to swan dive into a sea of feeding sharks. She could very well be clairvoyant and giving me next weeks winning lottery numbers and I couldn’t help but react like Harry.

“I’ll take listening to my parents having sex over hearing that accent for eight hundredddddd, Alex.”


Best Matthew McConaughey Impersonations
TAGSaccentsJeopardy

Join The Discussion


Comments are closed.