Curt Schilling Calls Hillary Clinton A ‘Skank’ In Bizarre Homemade Video

First order of business, Curt: where the fuck are you? Did bankruptcy force you to move in a 2×2 storage closet at Dunder Mifflin? And that hat, that is a gas station hat. I’m sure of it. It’s no secret that Curt Schilling has made a seamless transition from two-time Cy Young Award winner to that uncle at barbecues who drinks too much and calls your grandmother a cunt for not writing him in the will.

Schill’s past twelve months in review:  he was fired from ESPN for posting anti-transgender memes, shared a Hillary Clinton is a Murderer‘ meme, called Stephen A. Smith a racistranted incoherently about the Orlando shooting tragedy AND the tragic New Jersey train crash, and called out a military vet for his lack of service to this country. There’s a difference between passionately expressing your opinions and sharing inflammatory memes from a stranger on Facebook whose profile picture is a monster truck. Schilling hasn’t heard a conspiracy theory he could poke holes in. He’s the dude who buys out snare wire and safety pins every New Years in preparation for the end of the world. An absolute looney tune. And oh ya, he’s not too fond of Hillary Clinton, the skank.

P.S. I’m 100% convinced the bloody sock in the 2004 ALCS was Sriracha sauce or the blood of a left-winger’s newborn child.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.