Dog Sets New Record By Popping 100 Balloons In 39.08 Seconds — Finally, Something Important On The Internet!

Dog balloon popping is a competitive sport, apparently. From what I’ve gathered so far Jack Russell Terriers absolutely dominate the sport because if you’ve ever encountered a Jack Russell you know that they’re crazier than a sprayed cockroach.

The Jack Russell Terrier breed came into existence due to a need for a small white (bright color) dog to run into fox holes and scare the foxes out so hunters in the English countryside could then shoot those foxes for sport. Needless to say the dog that fit this bill turned out to be batshit crazy, because ‘cool, calm, and collected’ aren’t exactly desirable traits for a dog whose primary purpose is to run into a fox hole and attack an animal 4 times its size.

The dog you see in the video above is Twinkie, and she’s from California. Twinkie the Jack Russell Terrier just set the new balloon popping world record for dogs by popping 100 balloons in only 39.08 seconds, besting the previous record held by Cally The Wonder Dog UK who set her record on Britain’s Got Talent. At this moment I’d just like to point out that both of those dogs are females, and they held/hold what is probably the most goddamn annoying world record known to man.

Seriously, just look at this crazy behavior. Why would we ever encourage this in dogs?

I don’t enjoy hearing one balloon popped, just like I don’t appreciate my lawn guy waking me up at the ass crack of dawn this morning by weed whacking my fence around sunrise. These are not fun noises, so naturally there’s a world record for them. Annoyances aside, I’d like to congratulate Twinkie the Jack Russell Terrier on bringing this very important Guinness World Record home to America.

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