This is why I work on the internet. When my dad calls me tonight after a long day of working construction and asks me how I contributed to society today, I can proudly tell him that I posted about a drunk chick with no conceivable end-game tumbling over the counter at McDonald’s, and taking register 3 and 4 down with her. She was so shitfaced she even started speaking a different language. So dad, while you’re building buildings and shit and still working to pay off my college debt, I’ll be over here giving the people what they need, before they even know they need it. I hope you’re as proud of me as I am of myself.