Drunk Chick Attempts A Backflip At McDonald’s And It Was A Good Try, Good Effort


Expectation:

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Reality:

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This is why I work on the internet. When my dad calls me tonight after a long day of working construction and asks me how I contributed to society today, I can proudly tell him that I posted about a drunk chick with no conceivable end-game tumbling over the counter at McDonald’s, and taking register 3 and 4 down with her. She was so shitfaced she even started speaking a different language. So dad, while you’re building buildings and shit and still working to pay off my college debt, I’ll be over here giving the people what they need, before they even know they need it. I hope you’re as proud of me as I am of myself.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.