Video games can be better than sex. They last longer, they don’t involve any exercise, and you don’t have to digest that shameful look of disappointment when it’s over.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll choose sex 9.3 times out of 10, but there’s an unparalleled feeling of bliss when you rip off the plastic casing to a brand new video game and then waste the next six hours of your life pressing buttons. Don’t you dare ask me where the G-Spot is, but I can tap X-0-L1-L2 with the best of em. That counts for something. Says the single guy.
This dude named Brad feels me, though. He decided to hop on Twitter to troll his girlfriend by “breaking up” with her for Fifa ’16 (which has gotten dope reviews).
Bye Danni pic.twitter.com/FcQr0Bz6Qi
— Eazy B (@BradleyMeasor) September 24, 2015
//platform.twitter.com/widgets.jsBrad probably shot this tweet off and fist bumped his buddies thinking this battle had been won. That’s when his smoking hot girlfriend brought down the hammer, quite literally.
That dildo is $68–I’ve own suits that cost less than that. If I were a girl, my cheap ass would definitely go the electric toothbrush route. Gotta SAVE DAT MONEY.
Brad coming in hot with the confession. I feel you, bro. If my girlfriend looked like yours, I’d have the same struggle. (Tip: Think about your grandmother.)
No girl I’ve ever hooked up with has looked at my penis like this one is looking at this silicon meat popsicle. Utter admiration. //platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Chicks love dildos, man.
P.S. Hit me up if things don’t work out. You can come over and watch me play FIFA in my underwear for nine hours. xo.