Classic tale of Man vs. Opossum. It’s old as time. I think humans won this battle, but the war is long. The opossum has to have some serious confidence issues after being called an “UGly, nasty bitch”. Surprised the poor bastard didn’t launch himself off that fence with the complexes this dude instilled in him. He’s probably going back to his opossum hole, throwing on some Dashboard Confessional, and diving into a pint of rat carcass.
Also, that tail is objectively the most heinous thing on Earth. Find me something you’d want to touch less and if you’re a girl you can’t say “your penis” because that will hurt my feelings.