Dude Hilariously Talking Trash To An Opossum, And It’s Opawesome

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Classic tale of Man vs. Opossum. It’s old as time. I think humans won this battle, but the war is long. The opossum has to have some serious confidence issues after being called an “UGly, nasty bitch”. Surprised the poor bastard didn’t launch himself off that fence with the complexes this dude instilled in him. He’s probably going back to his opossum hole, throwing on some Dashboard Confessional, and diving into a pint of rat carcass.

Also, that tail is objectively the most heinous thing on Earth. Find me something you’d want to touch less and if you’re a girl you can’t say “your penis” because that will hurt my feelings.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.