I Choose To Hate On This Dude’s Viral Yoga Marriage Proposal Simply Because I’m As Flexible As A Fire Hydrant

The beauty of blogging is that you can basically say anything you want with zero physical consequences. I can call Dwayne The Rock Johnson a huge beta bitch with near certainty he won’t hop a plane, burst through the door of my shitty apartment, and kick my ass. So hey Dwayne, how’s your perfect life going, dickface? boom roasted.

That being said, I can call this dude’s marriage proposal to his smoking hot girlfriend lame as shit because 1.) I can’t even touch my toes and b.) I’ve skipped leg day for 29 years and couldn’t hold up a toddler, never mind a full grown human being. If you can’t do it, hate on it. That’s a solid life motto that surely won’t come back to bite me in the ass.

Also, it’s better to hate on it that to come to the realization that this guy is, without question, better at sex than I am. Cool dude. Cool.

[h/t Some eCards]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.