Stories of what happens in prisons and jails are some of the creepiest, scariest, most WTF things ever. Which is exactly why we love reading about them.
We’ve already read several stories of what happens behind bars and they were, how shall I put this? Terrifying.
So when I ran across this new Reddit thread where former prisoners shared even more tales of WTF naturally I had to read it. Turns out that I kind of wished I hadn’t.
That being said, if you ever thought about committing a crime these stories will probably set you straight in no time.
I did 2 1/2 years for drug sales at N.K.S.P North Kern state prison. I saw a guy break off the handle of a plastic coffee mug grind it down by rubbing it on the floor of the day room. He ended up with a little piece of plastic about the size of a quarter around and as thick as a pencil. He took a razor apart cut open his penis and inserted the plastic heart under the skin. He was getting out soon and thought his girlfriend would like it. ~ ringpiece21
My cellmate taught me how to “cook” since the food you get is basically flavorless. He made a dish with ramen noodles, various types of potato chips, starkist chicken in a pouch, and a cheese sauce that he made out of crushed up cheez-its and pickle juice. It sounds gross but it was actually quite tasty compared to the meals they serve you every day. ~ dash_hound
I saw a dead person in jail. Bodybag on a stretcher, out in the hall. I only saw it for about 2 seconds but that’s for sure a WTF moment. I don’t know the details of it, but that happens. I also saw 2 instances of people with ankle shackles which are reserved for the most violent crimes. In one case it was a really pretty girl with an insane smile on her face, like she was about to bite your neck. The other was a huge dreadlocked black guy who looked sad. ~ thenumberonefuckboy
Most fucked up: saw the emergency response team beat an inmate literally to death. Another inmate later died from injuries inflicted by these same people. Eventually these people were indicted, most pled guilty.
A guy a few cells down from me was nearly murdered. Didn’t see the actual attack, but I saw his apparently lifeless body before medical arrived. Seems a minor miracle he survived. He had multiple stab wounds (around a dozen) in the face/head, neck and chest. That was the most blood I have ever seen from a human.
Saw a guy on the second tier attacked by maybe 8 people. Stabbed until he dropped to the ground, then they started to stomp. The guy actually rolled under the hand rail and fell about 10 feet to the (concrete) floor below.
Young guy (20ish) attacked older (early 60’s) guy on the second tier. Old guy knocked young guy out 3 times. After the third k.o., old guy flipped young guy over the handrail and he tumbled to the concrete. TLDR: There aint no good chain gang. ~ ThrowAway6582146
There was an older guy that used to come to our cell every day and share a few smokes with us, read the newspaper and we’d talk about whatever was in it. We called him Doc, he was a nice guy and rather intelligent. It was nice to have someone like that to talk to.
One day as he left my cellmate asked me if I had ever asked why Doc was there and I hadnt. So he told me that Doc used to own taxi’s and got into a bit of a fight with a rival taxi group. so he got drunk one night and took an AK and killed like 10 of them with it. ~ Pagan-za
An inmate impregnated a guard and she (the guard) was still allowed to work on the compound and talk to the inmate. ~ handsomegarbageman
I saw one prisoner castrate another with a shank, and then eat his testicles.
The shank in this case, was a sharpened stone from the rec yard. ~ ReallyUnbelievable
Trained in a naval brig on the west coast. Saw a man cut his nipples off with a toenail clippers then before guards could get to his cell to pop he did the same to his eyelids… ~ oldblueeyess
This is a story from my boyfriend since he doesn’t have an account. He was locked up as a juvenile and instead of going to a traditional juvenile detention center, he was placed in minimum security center that is a actually a working dairy farm manned by the inmates.
They are supervised and such, of course. It was just meant to teach them responsibility as youths and give them work experience rather than sitting them in a cell.
He said one of the other inmates was caught having anal sex with a freshly dead male pig. ~ GGoDDeSS
Butt sex with the thumb of a latex glove as a condom. No one was even upset. Just…you know….way to be responsible. ~ yall_got_fajitas
Where I was in prison at there were bunks in a large room, but in between those bunks was a metal table that stuck out of the wall. One night while everyone was asleep we were awoken to a large thud followed by deep groaning. This guy had rolled off his rack and split his head wide open. To this day its the most blood I’ve ever seen come out of someone. He survived, but it fucked him up pretty good. I also seen someone super glue their nuts to one of them clear TV sets for a pack of noodles. I could go on and on if I thought about it hard enough. Prison is a fucked up place. ~ Grifmandamn
Watched a pack of inmates throw a prison cocktail of shit and piss into a certain guards face. It was satisfying to see since she was a really obnoxious bitch who liked to taunt the inmates using condescension. ~ chewyrubber
One day one of the guards put on Grown Ups 2. ~ QuarterOztoFreedom
Okay, that’s just cruel and unusual punishment right there.
Check out the rest of the freaky stories of time spent behind bars over at Reddit.
Related: Jared Fogle Is Hating Prison
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